I’ve been training my nervous system on a daily basis for just over seven months now, and it has radically changed my life for the better. I experience less fear now. I feel less social anxiety. I trust myself 1000% more than ever before. I hear my intuition. I’ve reconnected with deep creative flow. I experience rejection with more ease. And I can tolerate conflict.
None of this was true about me in July 2023, three months after being diagnosed with autism, realizing I was too burnt out to grow my business and suddenly aware of unprocessed traumas that were triggering me into automatic reactivity on a near-constant basis.
At the end of July, a friend recommended the Trauma Rewired podcast, and by mid-August, I was on the Brain-Based Wellness site learning how to breathe better, stimulate my cranial nerves and process emotions with simple movements. Five days into daily morning practice, and only about five minutes of practice, my entire awareness opened up.
Honestly, it was pretty terrifying. The sheer overwhelm I experienced? My goodness. But the strange thing was, even as I experienced all these overwhelming sensations, I thought, I’ve always been this hyper-sensitive, haven’t I? I just haven’t allowed myself to see it or engage with it before.
It nearly scared me right back into automatic dissociation and reactivity. But I stuck it out, and instead, it opened up this window of capacity to be compassionate with myself, to empathize with what had been true all along but I’d been in denial about.
Having enough awareness meant I could for the first time differentiate between being present and being dissociated. This capacity came after years of experimenting with meditation – I tried nearly every type out there, stuck with it for a while, then tossed it aside when I saw no benefits. But neuro drills gave me awareness and presence I’d long sought, and it only took about five days of practice to get there. No wonder I stuck with it.
At two weeks of daily practice, I was able to stay present for a conflict for the first time. I am terribly conflict averse, and it felt excruciating to not dissociate for the clash. But by staying present, I had enough mental clarity and cognitive access to diffuse the conflict. It was probably my first productive adversarial conversation in my life. I didn’t have to accommodate or compromise. I stood my ground, and both parties walked away with a sense of resolution.
Best of all, I didn’t crash the next day. Prior to nervous system training, I would lose at least a day to the residual stress of conflict. Sometimes, I could lose an entire week to resulting low energy, depression, brain fog, self-loathing, confusion, ruminating, the works. But just two weeks into daily nervous system practices, I had a very productive day-after, and at that point, I was hooked.
In the months since, a bunch of other things have come online, some spontaneously and others with a lot of dedicated focus. I processed some traumas. I’ve recognized the roots of my fear, and it’s helping me release a lot of anxiety. I’m starting to sleep in three- or even four-hour chunks at night for the first time in more than a decade. I made it through the entire winter without getting sick. I have a very different relationship with alcohol now. And my social anxiety is a fraction of what it used to be.
Among the more spontaneous improvements I’ve experienced are boundaries and new friendships. I now know where my energy ends and someone else’s energy begins. That’s enormously empowering for a lifelong empath. I only need to own what’s actually my responsibility. As for friendships, I don’t call myself a people person, and I’m pretty good with that. But two months into nervous system training, I started getting comments like, “we should hang out sometime,” and they mean it. Plus, they like me unmasked! A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed it would be possible to feel accepted without my mask. As I saw it, to unmask meant to choose a life of solitude.
At this point in training my nervous system, I’m able to handle significant stressors without getting derailed – stressors as significant as car theft. Early this month, my brother was traveling abroad, and his truck was stolen from airport parking. As the closest contact to the site where the abandoned truck was found, a Sheriff’s deputy called asking me to sign an affidavit to authorize the truck’s seizure. So I drove to the station and risked rush hour traffic with full knowledge that my day would be lost to the effort. It would be worth the sacrifice though because I felt concern for my brother and for the truck – an inheritance from my late father.
To my surprise, however, the trip was almost effortless, in spite of bad traffic and the expected stresses of encounters with law enforcement officers. When I returned home, I had enough energy to jump right back into the creative project I’d been working on. I didn’t lose a day’s worth of work after all. I mean, do you have any idea how impossible it is to go from an amped up adrenalized state into a state of creative flow? It’s actually not possible, which means I somehow avoided an adrenalized state in all of the upheaval.
My brother would never recognize this version of me, which probably explains why he kept apologizing for the inconvenience. Here’s the thing: It wasn’t an inconvenience. It was just a thing that needed attention, and I gave it the level of attention I could afford, which was adequate. I didn’t over-do it. I was just proactive enough. And it was fine. In fact, it felt really good to be able to help out.
Is this how it feels to live with a regulated nervous system? The ease of it! If this is how life will be for me now, sign me up.
If I’ve been able to cultivate this level of resilience in just seven months, imagine what might be possible for you. It is not hard. It is not intensive. And it totally, 100% works.
Yes, you too can enjoy the benefits of a regulated nervous system – regulated from the inside out independent of your circumstances or environment. So let’s talk. You are worthy of this level of ease and sovereignty too.
Comments